Ireland’s Circus of a Presidential Race

What a farcical sight the Irish Presidential race has become. Am I happy I played a part in that, you ask? Yes. Yes I am.

Poor Gay Mitchell is slipping into irrelevancy with about 9% support in the polls. Amazingly, among members of his own Fine Gael party he is the third most popular candidate. I blame it on his Dublin-centric nature – he has virtually no support among Fine Gael’s rural base – and being far away in Brussels all these years hasn’t done him any favors either. Fine Gael have tried to address the problem by launching  special Culchie Edition campaign posters for rural areas:

Its tough being a Dub in politics, especially if you’re not the cute hoor Bertie was. The not very charismatic Gay also seems to suffer from necrophilia. This is not to say he wishes to fornicate with corpses. Rather, he seems in love with death, a subject most of us don’t want to hear when we gather around the television every evening.

Then there’s Dana: the one true anti-Establishment candidate. No one would let her serve on the many cushy government board positions other candidates have milked over the years. They didn’t want to periodically break for bouts of prayer, apparently. Oh dear: now we hear she’s sworn loyalty to another state (the USA) and that’s left her open to as many charges of dual-loyalty as  ‘Israel’s puppet in Ireland’ Alan Shatter. She’s compared herself to Eamon de Valera, but critics point out that he was a US citizen by birth and never took the controversial loyalty oath in question. I say the de Valera comparison is valid. Dev was not averse to making a few empty oaths of allegiance, remember?

The fact that Michael D. Higgins leads in the polls is a national disgrace. A 1960’s-style Irish leftie, he’s attended candle-lit vigils for Yasser Arafat, is fond of Fidel Castro, and is the kind of person who might just cry himself to sleep every night singing Cuban revolutionary songs in solidarity with the children of Palestine. His short stature (he had to stand on a box for the Presidential debate on Vincent Browne’s show) has led many to compare him to Bilbo Baggins:

I disagree because Higgins is not a charming character. He may have a bit of an ego problem, given his campaign posters are subtly comparing him to Jesus:

Sean Gallagher has been the real success story of late, surging to second-place in the polls, and a fairly close second at that. Like Mary Davis, he’s flouted his business experience (helped by being on the Irish version of Dragon’s Den). In reality, Sean and Mary have been better at using Fianna Fáil connections in order to sit on numerous boards and quangos than they have at using entrepreneurial talents to generate real wealth and jobs.

I’m not going to bash Martin McGuinness too much. I’ve never been immersed in Northern Irish affairs as much as I should, given I lived next door for a good stretch and now live in the same Union. I don’t know what I’d have been up to if I were a young man from Derry or Belfast during the Troubles. I hate both camps: loyalists killed an extremely high-proportion of civilians compared to actual IRA men; and the IRA, or at least one wing, are a bunch of commies, who also deliberately killed civilians and are anti-Israel. Many in the Irish left seem more bothered by the fact McGuinness has been involved in some very modest privatization schemes up there in Stormont than the fact he was in an armed terrorist group and never recognized the legitimacy of the 26-country Irish Republic until recently. What is shameful is the idea of having a President who just wont admit when he left the IRA. It would be such an embarrassing cloud to have over the Head of State of a modern developed country in Western Europe; making Ireland look like some dysfunctional Latin American or Arab hell-hole. I say to McGuinness (and Peter Robinson and the rest): thanks for stopping the killings. Now go away.

That leaves David Norris. I’m not too upset he’s back from the dead. His popularity in the polls has plummeted and he’ll never recover what he once had. His base, students and some older leftists who think its really important to have a gay President, were enough to bring him back from Cyprus and get him a good following on Twitter, but he’s unelectable outside the ranks of Trinity graduates now. Still, the nerve of the man annoys me. We all know he won’t release the documents because it will reveal he has bizarre views on pederasty, and has loved and assisted the violent Israeli Communist Ezra Nawi – a sexual deviant with convictions for growing narcotics and improper use of firearms.

What a country.

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About Cranky Notions
Reactionary. That fella from the Norris scandal.

3 Responses to Ireland’s Circus of a Presidential Race

  1. roxymuzak says:

    I reckon – stand back – Bilbo Higgins could get it, Jesus wept. McGuinness won’t admit he left the IRA because he’s still in the IRA, They haven’t gone away you know. LIkewise, if he becomes Pres he’ll become commander in chief of our armed forces whilst still being a member of an organisation which has murderered members of our armed forces, an organisation which takes its mandate from the dead (Irish men and Irish women in the name of dead generations etc etc) as opposed to the living. Then again, SF are well on the way to replacing FF.

    Meantime, your on the ball. The entire election is a farce. Norris was on the telly canvasing today and it was deeply embarassing.

    Any sign of those letters? You’d have a front page exclusive……£,€,$

  2. Toejam says:

    Michaeleen is a bit short alright.

    The new P.C. phrase is: Vertically Challenged!

  3. Rob says:

    Unfortunate Michael D. Higgins got elected. Its a cold comfort at least that McGuinness didn’t get second. Didn’t like Gallagher much but he was the best of the front runners. In my opinion a few brown envelopes pales into insignificance when compared with Michael D.’s virulent anti-Americanism. I suspect our “special relationship” with the yanks will cool just when we need it! lol

    Norris did surprisingly well. At this stage I feel sorry for Gay Mitchell who looks as if he won’t even get his deposit back. People said he lacked charisma but the others hardly had it in spades except maybe Norris’ particular brand of charm!

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